An Incident of Mistaken Identity and Ethnic Stereotyping

 ( Article first published in 2009)

While I was browsing in the Web today, I saw an article that the Rancho Bernardo Tennis and Swim Club in San Diego has closed. I thought this was the same place as the Rancho Bernardo Inn Resort also in San Diego that my wife and I attended (Tennis Vacation package) in 1982. I guess I made a mistake.

Anyway today, the above article reminded me of an incident that happened to us in 1982 when Macrine and I attended a 3-DAY of Tennis Class and Vacation Package at the Rancho Bernardo Inn, which at that time was a four star resort.

Rancho Bernardo Inn, San Diego, Caliornia

The following article (excerpt in Chapter 10 from my autobiography, written in 2009) is an example of an ethnic stereotyping based on my skin and appearance as an Asian man and a Filipino. The article is as follows:

"Life in Pinole, California would not be complete, If I do not write about our tennis activities as related to our 25th Wedding Anniversary in 1982. As part of our community activities, Macrine and I played tennis almost everyday after work. On weekends. I also played double with the men's team at Contra Costa College. So, as one of my silver wedding anniversary gift to Macrine, we decided to attend a 3-day tennis academy package at Rancho Bernardo Inn in San Diego. The five star resort is home of one of the best tennis academy in California at that time. For the three days, we played tennis 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours in the afternoon. In between tennis we had gourmet meals and entertainment at night. The cost of the tennis package was very expensive, comparable to the cost of playing golf and staying at Bellarocca Resort here in Marinduque today.

The cost of the trip was not my concern, since it was my Silver Wedding Anniversary gift to both Macrine and myself. An incident at the resort is why I am mentioning this trip. As soon as we check in, Macrine stayed at the front office to smoke, while I carried our luggage to our room. On my way to our room, an elderly white couple approached me and requested that I also helped them with their luggage as soon as I finished what I was doing. I gave them a surprise stare and blurted out, "I am just checking in myself, and I do not worked here". They apologized profusely.

Later on, I realized why I had been mistaken for a porter. About 90% of the resort porters, janitors and maintenance workers were either Filipinos or Mexicans. This incident is an example of how people judged you with the color of your skin and not what you had accomplished or what is in your head".

The above tennis vacation package, a post 25th wedding anniversary gift to my wife and myself, we will never forget, because it reminds us of our younger days. Moreover, the above incident also reminds us that most people first impression of you is your external appearance and not what is inside your heart and head.

If you are a Filipino-American, have you experience a similar incident in your life?

Meanwhile, enjoy the following photo:

Macrine and I with our 49ers Jackets before the Super Bowl LIV, 2020

Old But Treasured Photos in My Album

Once again, my frustration and anger of our Dictator King Trump (his assault of our justice system) this week, inspired me to search for old treasured photos in my collection. Here's a few I like to share. 

Entrance of Main House( Chateau Du Mer)-Philippines

Side Yard ( south) of Main House-Philippines

My Computer Set-up at CDM-Philippines

Laylay Sunset-Macrine's Ancestral Home-Philippines

Amoingon Sunset-From the Balcony of Our Beach House-Philippines

Twilight at the Beach House-CDM-Philippines

My Miniature Orchid in Bloom-US

Lady Godiva Glass Sculpture-US

Some of Macrine's Music Boxes Collection-US

Macrine's Marble Eggs Collection from Romblon- Philippines

Philippine Anteater in Glass Case-US

Cactus in Bloom at Back Patio, US

 Meanwhile, enjoy Kulas video of Zanboanga City, Eleven Island
https://www.facebook.com/becomingfilipino/videos/176531120381284/ 

Stages of Aging and Role Reversal

Our Golden Wedding Anniversary, 2007, Marinduque, Philippines

When you were a child you expect your parents to protect you always. But as you grow up you realize your parents can’t protect you no matter how much they want. As your parents grow older, there will be a role reversal.

Our Wedding Day, May 8, 1957, Philippines

The following are the Stages of Aging written by Karen Purze***:  
https://lifeinmotionguide.com/stages-of-aging/

Stages of Aging #1: Your Parents Don't Need Help

This is the stage where you call up your parents and they’re too busy to meet up, or are traveling, or spending half a year in a different town. Or maybe they’re nearby, and eager to babysit your kids. They're fully independent and don't need any help from you. Stay here as long as you can, and enjoy it!

Stages of Aging #2: Your Parents Think They Don't Need Help (But They Do)

At this point, you’ve noticed some things that have you concerned. Maybe they aren’t able to maintain their house like they used to, or are having a hard time getting groceries or making meals — but they’re compensating somehow and are getting by. Or maybe there are physical or mental changes, foreshadowing something bigger that hasn’t yet arrived. In our case, it was nearly all of these things.

My parents needed help long before they accepted it, especially “outside” help.
This stage was purgatory for me because my parents were getting a lot of help — from me and my brothers. Yet they reacted to suggestions that they hire help as if they were independent. I was anxious and scared and wanted to pass through this stage as quickly as possible.

If that sounds like you, remember, your parents likely value their independence as much as you value your own, so try to be patient. See if you can have some conversations about what they’d like to happen if they were, one day far in the future, to hypothetically need help at home. (Remember only you know your parents already need help!)

Stages of Aging #3: Your Parents Don't Need Enough Help

After I told my parents I would no longer 15 miles out of my way to special deliver orange juice on my way home from work, they agreed to hire some help.
This is a version of their initial request: “We’d like someone to come in for an hour and a half in the mornings, and an hour at night. But maybe not every day.” Maybe your mom wants some help four hours a week, but not on the same day of the week. In this stage, your parents want some help, but not “enough”.

Here’s what I mean by that: it’s possible to get help to fit these really flexible needs, but it’s going to be hard to find. And it’s unlikely to be from a bonded, insured agency who can handle the hiring and back-filling if your caregiver can’t make it on any given day. Agencies often have minimum hours requirements, too, because they know that getting reliable help requires a mutual commitment.

If your parents can’t commit, you or they will need to start interviewing. You’ll need to find caregivers yourselves, through referrals or online platforms.

Stages of Aging #4: Your Parents Need Daily Help (And They Have It)

If you can’t stay in Stage 1 forever, stay here (not that you can choose or control much about this process!) You’ve finally figured out the right balance. Maybe someone in the family stepped up and is providing the care your parents need, maybe you’ve hired an agency, maybe your parents moved to a senior living community or assisted living. You’ve adapted to whatever came your way, and it’s working out. I hope things stay this way! Just in case, though, there are two more stages to consider.

Stages of Aging #5: They Need Medical Help

There may come a time when your parents need medical help that a home care agency or private caregiver can't provide. Medical help includes managing and administering medication, giving injections, wound care, and other skilled nursing services. This is a really stressful stage because the stakes have gotten higher. The need for medical help is often a turning point for someone who wanted to stay at home. It can dramatically increase the cost of care because many home care agencies are not licensed to provide “medical help.” so private-duty nurses must be hired.

Stages of Aging #6: They Need Full-Time Help

There may come a time when it’s not safe for your parent(s) to be left alone. The choices you have at this point are similar to those you’ve had all along. You can help them yourself (with as much support from others as you can muster), you can hire help in their home (or your own), or you can move your parents to a community that provides the necessary support.

Meanwhile, visit this site for more wedding anniversary photos:

https://davidbkatague.blogspot.com/search?q=silver+wedding

***  Author: Karen Purze

Karen Purze is the author of Life In Motion: A Guide for Gathering Life’s Vital Details, a workbook to help people get their affairs in order. She blogs about end-of-life and emergency planning at lifeinmotionguide.com.

Personal Note: We are now in Stage 4 and 5 in our aging years!

Reading a Good Book versus Watching Television

Decline of the American Book Lover-From the Atlantic.com

I finished reading a well written and engaging book just a few months ago.

https://davidbkatague.blogspot.com/2019/10/book-review-box-of-nolis-bones-by-felix.html

I enjoyed it very much and felt that it was better than watching a good television show.

THIS FEELING PROMPTED TO DO AN INTERNET SEARCH ON THE BENEFITS OF READING VERSUS TELEVISION WATCHING. 

HERE'S WHAT I FOUND in the Internet AND LIKE TO SHARE IT WITH YOU.   

Are Books Superior to TV? How They Affect Our Minds in Different Ways

There are also long-term effects from reading books. Reading keeps your mind alert and delays cognitive decline in elders. Research even found that Alzheimer’s is 2.5 times less likely to appear in elderly people who read regularly, while TV was presented as a risk factor.

Six minutes of reading can reduce stress levels by 68 percent, according to researchers at the University of Sussex. Reading beat out other relaxing activities, including listening to music (61 percent), drinking tea or coffee (54 percent), and taking a walk (42 percent).

There’s a perception that books are good, while TV is bad. Spend a day curled up with a book and you’re an intellectual, but spend a day watching your favorite show and you become a couch potato.
Similar to how candy gives you cavities and sun tanning is bad for our skin, it’s common knowledge that reading books is good for you. It increases your knowledge and makes you think. Watching television on the other hand kills off brain cells.

But why is that? Why can’t watching TV be just as educational as reading a book? For example, does watching the show Game of Thrones lower your intelligence, while reading the books does the exact opposite?

After all, there are all sorts of books. Some good, some poorly written. The same applies to shows as well. Is the situation as simple as categorizing books as good and TV as bad?

What Science Says About Books and Television

In 2013, a study was performed at Tohoku University in Japan. A team led by Hiraku Takeuchi examined the effects of television on the brains of 276 children, along with amount of time spent watching TV and its long-term effects.

Researcher Takeuchi found that the more TV the kids watched, parts of their brain associated with higher arousal and aggression levels became thicker. The frontal lobe also thickened, which is known to lower verbal reasoning ability.  The more hours of television the kids watched, the lower their verbal test results became. These negative effects in the brain happened regardless of the child’s age, gender, and economic background.

In the same year, a study was done on how reading a novel affected the brain. Gregory Burns and his colleagues at Emory University wanted to see the before and after effects of reading based on fMRI readings.

College students were asked to read Pompeii by Robert Harriss, a thriller based on the eruption of Mount Vesuvius in Italy. The book was chosen due to its strong narration and a dramatic plot based on true events.

After reading the novel, the students had increased connectivity in parts of the brain that were related to language. There was also increased activity in the sensory motor region of the brain, suggesting that readers experienced similar sensations to the characters in the book.

Why These Activities Have Opposite Effects on Us

So far, reading’s looking pretty good compared to television. We can see that it calms the nerves, increases language and reasoning, and can even keep you mentally alert as you age. TV, on the other hand, has the opposite effect.
But we still haven’t gotten to why that’s the case.

Let’s look first at a study on how preschoolers and toddlers interact with their mothers during TV viewing versus reading a book.

The results found that watching TV resulted in lower amounts and quality of communication between the mother and child. During an educational TV program, mothers made few comments to their children, and if they did, it was unrelated to what their children said.

On the other hand, reading books together increased the amount and level of communication. Mothers were more likely to ask their child questions, respond to their child’s statements and questions, and explain concepts in greater detail.
Beyond mothers and their children, it’s not just an issue of the quality of the TV program or the book. It seems that the nature of the activities themselves is what’s causing the differences.

Television is designed to be passive. After switching to the show you like, you can just sit back and watch everything unfold without effort on your part. You’re less likely to pause to reflect on what’s happening. TV also presents ideas and characters on a surface level. Shows don’t have the luxury of describing or explaining situations in great detail, since they need to keep viewers visually entertained.

TV programs are fast-paced in order to keep people from switching.
Books, on the other hand, are a more proactive form of entertainment and learning. The reader has to concentrate on what’s being said and to think through concepts in the book. When we read, we’re forced to use our imaginations to fill in the gaps.

Books also have the advantage of being able to describe everything in greater depth. While television is mostly composed of dialogue between characters, books can walk readers through scenes, characters’ thoughts, and provide lengthier commentary.

Source: http://www.jumpstartyourdreamlife.com/books-vs-tv/

June 27, 2016 By Melissa

Meanwhile enjoy this piece of music-one of my favorites -Concierto de Aranjuez

Royal Palace of Aranjuez

https://youtu.be/KzEFQW9CXGc 

Cock and Bull Fighting in Manila in the Late 1890's

While doing a web search on the Philippine-American War of 1899, two items attracted my attention, bullfighting and cockfighting. The first item is gone in the Filipino lives and culture for quite a long time. However, cockfighting remains ingrained into the Filipino mind, that is why it very popular gambling activity for a lot of Filipinos today. It is almost a national sport in the country side. A lot of money is lost or won every weekend in almost all towns and cities in the Philippines from cockfighting festivities.

Here's a short paragraph on bullfighting in Manila in the late 1890s.

"The bull ring was located in Paco district. An American writer who was in the Philippines in 1898-99, Joseph L. Stickney, described the state of the sport in the country: "Neither Spanish bull-fighters nor Spanish bulls are brought to the island, so that native talent has to be obtained to play both roles. The bulls are timid and lazy, the bull-fighters are little better, so that the traveler does not see bullfighting of the same sort that he would in Spain, Cuba or Mexico."

http://www.portaltaurino.net/enciclopedia/doku.php/toros_en_filipinas?fbclid=IwAR2vjR9KVw4d9v1x4vg_cOAHsRbUgjMkfTs2Q5Vh-1oY15w2cUYh3ygH90c


Here's a reprint of my first cockfighting experience in Marinduque

Photo from en-wikipedia.com

I grew up in the Philippines, until I was 25 years old. But I have never attended a cockfighting tournament. When I was growing up my parents instructed me never to go inside the arena or else I get a beating in the buttocks. However, without my parents knowledge, my friend and I were outside the arena a number of times where there are stalls selling merienda's( Filipino cakes and balot) and other goodies. So outside the arena, I could still remember the noise and commotion inside when the winner is announced in my mind even until today.

It was only two years ago, when we celebrated our Golden wedding anniversary that I attended a cockfighting tournament in Marinduque. This was the first request of my two sons, nephew to be (boy friend of my niece) and son-in-law who all grew up in US. They have heard and read about it, so they were really curious. So the first Sunday of their visit in Marinduque, I took them to my first cockfighting experience. We were accompanied by a local relative who was a cockfighting enthusiast and a semi-addict of this bloody sport and gambling activity in the Philippines.

WOW! What an experience! The crowds were 99.9% male. There were only three women out of about 300 gamblers. My son-in-law and "nephew to be" were the only white-skinned males(gringos) in the crowd. Of course my son-in-law who is 6 feet and 6 inches tall stuck out like a sore thumb with his height and bald head. At first I really did not understand what was going on, as the attendees were all shouting their bets to the bet taker almost at the same time. But I heard the bet taker never makes a mistake. What a memory! There were two sides, MAYRON or WALA. When I was growing up, the two opposing sides were “ SA PULA and SA PUTI”.

MAYRON means you have something and WALA means you have nothing. PULA means red and PUTI means white, indicating the opposite color of the roosters. But sometimes the roosters have the same color, so this was abandoned to the current mayron or wala as the two opposing sides.

The noise was so deafening once a winner or a “kill” was declared. It sounded like a thousand males had an orgasmic experience all at the same time. It was so loud, that I had to cover my ears. I enjoyed more watching the antics of the crowd than the actual cockfights except for the moment of kill. After a few of these bouts, I got tired, so I went outside the arena. In the meantime, my guests were betting and enjoying themselves. We stayed for only about an hour since I was getting tired due to the noise, the heat and humidity in the arena. My son won about $10, but my son-in-law lost $15. They had a grand and fantastic time. I did not!

I will never attend a cockfighting tournament again, I just don't like the gambling atmosphere and the smell of the place(amoy pawis). My preference in gambling are the casinos not the cockfighting tournaments. It was however, an experience worthy of posting in this blog. Cockfighting also reminded me of bull fighting in Spain, that I attended about ten years ago. I loved the bull fights, not the cock fights.

Meanwhile in San Joaquin, Iloilo, a group is trying to revive Carabao ( water buffalo) bull fights.   

https://news.mb.com.ph/2019/01/24/iloilo-town-tries-to-keep-bullfighting-tradition/

Romantic Wedding Ceremonies at Chateau Du Mer

Are you ready for another four years of abusive reign ( King Trump) and lies of Potus #45? I am not and thinking about it, put my blood pressure on high levels. In order to calm down, I search for old photos and videos in my FB page. 

Here's one of the several videos showing a most romantic wedding ceremony and reception highlighting the Beach House and Gardens of Chateau Du Mer. This was held last May 6, 2019 at CDM.

https://www.facebook.com/sixpmstudio/videos/2322644764691231/

Here are a few others wedding receptions held at Chateau Du Mer

https://davidbkatague.blogspot.com/search?q=wedding+Receptions

The Hall Decorated for the Wedding Reception