My Two Favorite Jokes for the StoryWorth Book of Memories

Here's my response to the query about my two favorite jokes for StoryWorth Book. My Book I titled Becoming Americans was just published into a hard-bound 435 pages with 100 B & W photographs just recently. I am very pleased with how the book turned out.

Si Malakas at Maganda- The first Pinoy couple( The Strong and the Beautiful)

This is my own English translation of the origin of the Filipino race. It is a story based on children's folklore written in the local dialect of the Philippines.

In 1972, after I received my US citizenship, I was invited by our Local Lions Club as a guest speaker during one of their monthly meetings. They requested that I talk about the Japanese-American War in the Philippines. This subject is one chapter in my autobiography, so I was confident about the content of my talk. However, I had no experience in public speaking, but had taken a speech class in college. Our speech teacher once said that before your speech, you have to put your audience at ease, so always tell a joke that is related to the subject of your talk. The following is the joke I told the group: The Origin of the Filipino Race.

Evidently, when God created mankind, he molded the human form using clay and an oven. The first time, he was doing this, God was so excited that he took what he was baking too soon. The human clay was under cooked or underdone. So it was pale and white. That was the origin of the White Race.

God was not happy, so he started to bake another human form. This time he got a telephone call from Satan. God was upset he forgot about what he was doing and the baking was over done, the human form was overcooked, and turned black. This was the origin of the Black Race. 

God then told himself, “This time it will be perfect. I will watch it very carefully and will not be distracted by any calls.” His baking was perfect. The human form was golden brown, and perfectly cooked. This was the origin of the Filipino race.

Note: The original form of the above story was from children’s folklore in the local dialect (Ilonggo or Hiligaynon) in the Philippines. The above article is my own English translation of the folklore. I hope it brightens your day! Needless to say, my talk was a success!

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And here's the second article/joke for StoryWorth Book.  Enjoy and be sure to smile!

 

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black: 1. He called everyone brother. 2. He liked Gospel. 3. He didn't get a fair trial.

 

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish: 1. He went into His Father's business. 2. He lived at home until he was 33. 3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin, and his Mother was sure He was God. 

 

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian: 1. He talked with His hands. 2. He had wine with His meals. 3. He used olive oil.

 

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian: 1. He never cut His hair. 2. He walked around barefoot all the time. 3. He started a new religion. 

 

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian: 1. He was at peace with nature. 2. He ate a lot of fish. 3. He talked about the Great Spirit.

 

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish: 1. He never got married. 2. He was always telling stories. 3. He loved green pastures. 

 

But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a Woman: 1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food. 2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it. 3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do. ________________

My Response to the Message in FaceBook:

Like it. How about a list that Jesus was a Filipino?

 

Photo Credit: NY Daily News

Can you write three proofs that Jesus could have been a Filipino ( not seriously, of course) . Here's mine

 

1. He ate with his hands. 2. He kiss his relatives on the cheek upon entering the room and 3. He was always late for most of the events he was suppose to attend.

 

Related Post: Read in the Internet: Jesus was Gay*

 

1. He surrounds himself with 12 men, he called his Disciples

2. He loves wearing flowing robes and linen garments and running naked

3. He never married( remain celibate) and had no known girl friends   

 

* https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/belief/2012/apr/20/was-jesus-gay-probably

 

Lastly: Just read this in FB recently-from a female celebrity;

 

God ( Jesus) is certainly not a female after watching 2 whales mating!