Another Satirical Look at Life in an Active Senior Living Community
After my first satirical posting about life at THD-The Heritage Downtown, our active senior living community with more than 160 residents, I received many positive comments from residents, friends, and readers around the world.
That encouraged me to try another one.
As I mentioned in my first satire, everything in this article is anonymous. I am deliberately avoiding names and identifying details. My purpose is not to embarrass anyone, criticize any particular employee, or create trouble for anyone. I like the people who work here, and I certainly do not want anyone to lose a job because of something I wrote.
My purpose is simply to observe.
After all, I have discovered that living in a senior community is sometimes more interesting than watching television. You never know what the next episode will bring!
In the Last Three Years, People Have Come and People Have Gone
During my nearly three years at THD, I have watched residents move in, make friends, participate in activities, and become part of our community.
I have also watched residents and employees leave for many different reasons.
And some of those reasons could easily become episodes in a television comedy.
1. Sometimes Even Long Marriages Have an Unexpected Ending
One of the more surprising stories involved a longtime married couple.
Apparently, a younger husband decided to move out and start a new relationship with another younger resident. I am not making this up.
The wife eventually had to move out as well, partly for financial reasons and partly, I imagine, because she probably did not want to live next door to the new couple.
At our age, we might think romance has retired. Apparently, romance did not get the memo.
I have always believed that life can surprise us at any age.
But I never expected to discover a senior-living version of a love triangle!
2. Aging Sometimes Makes the Decision for Us
Another reason residents leave THD is much more serious.
Some residents experience Falls or begin showing signs of cognitive decline and eventually require more assistance with daily living than THD can provide.
This is one of the difficult realities of aging.
We may want to remain independent forever, but our bodies sometimes have other plans.
A Fall can change everything. A health problem can change everything.
And sometimes the hardest decision a family must make is deciding that a loved one needs a different level of care.
It is not really a failure. It is simply another stage of life.
3. Some Residents Move to Be Closer to Family
Then there are residents who leave because their children or relatives want them closer.
I think this is one of the best reasons to move.
After all, senior living can provide wonderful friends, activities, transportation, restaurants, housekeeping and many other conveniences.
But nothing quite replaces family.
There is something comforting about knowing that your children or grandchildren are only a short drive away. Of course, there is one small problem:
Sometimes we seniors move closer to our children, and then discover that our children are very busy!
But that is another story.
4. There Is Also the Inevitable Reality of Death and Rising Costs
During my years at THD, several residents have passed away.
That is perhaps the most difficult part of living in a senior community.
We become friends with people, share meals, play games, attend activities, exchange greetings in the hallway and then one day their chair at dinner is empty.
It reminds us that our community is not just a place where seniors live.
It is a temporary chapter in our lives. Another concern is the rising cost of rent.
Many seniors live on fixed or limited incomes. As the cost of senior living increases, affordability becomes an increasingly important issue.
We may joke about almost everything. Rent is one subject that is difficult to joke about.
5. The Wonderful World of Rules
Now we come to one of my favorite subjects: Rules!
Every senior living community needs rules. Without rules, imagine what could happen.
We might have residents playing Mahjong at midnight, taking two desserts instead of one, parking where they shouldn't, or showing up for an activity without signing the required form.
Heaven forbid! At THD, we have ice cream sundaes on two Sundays each month, alternating with our Trivia Games. I love both activities.
But I recently heard about an incident that made me smile and think.
Apparently, a grandchild of a resident was refused an ice cream because the grandmother had not signed up for the event.
When I heard about it, I went directly to the source.
And yes, I was told that it actually happened. Now, I understand the importance of rules.
Rules help employees organize activities. They help control attendance, expenses and supplies.
But sometimes I wonder whether common sense should be allowed to make a guest appearance.
Imagine the scene: A grandchild visits Grandma. Grandma has ice cream.
Grandchild sees ice cream. Grandchild wants ice cream.
Employee says: "I'm sorry. Grandma did not sign up."
Grandchild goes home thinking: "What kind of place is this?"
Of course, I am exaggerating for satire. But there is a serious lesson here.
Rules are important. Compassion is important, too.
Sometimes bending a small rule can create a big smile without causing any real harm.
And I want to emphasize something: I am not criticizing the employee involved.
In fact, I like this employee very much. That is why I hope this little story is understood in the spirit in which I am writing it.
I would never want someone to lose a job over an ice cream.
Especially when I might want that employee to serve me one someday!
6. And Then There Are Our Bad Habits!
Of course, living in a senior community also means living with some senior habits.
One of them is being late. At THD, there are one or two residents who seem to have developed a special relationship with the clock.
When an activity is scheduled for 11:00 AM, they apparently interpret that to mean:
"Start getting ready at 11:00 a.m."
At 11:05, we begin looking toward the door. At 11:10, we wonder if they are coming.
At 11:15, somebody may say: "Maybe we should call them?"
And then, eventually, they appear, usually with a perfectly good explanation.
I have to admit, I sometimes wonder whether these residents are actually late or whether the rest of us are simply too early!
But this is another example of the little habits that make a senior community interesting.
Some residents are always early. Some are exactly on time.
And a few seem to believe that time is merely a suggestion. It reminds me of Filipino time.
Of course, being late can occasionally inconvenience other residents and the staff, especially when transportation or scheduled activities are involved. So perhaps this is one habit we can all work on.
But I also remind myself that we are seniors.
We have spent many decades developing our personalities, routines and yes, our bad habits.
At this stage of life, maybe we can improve some of them without trying to become entirely different people.
After all, if someone arrives ten minutes late to Chair Volley Ball, I can forgive them. They can sit at the back of the Court.
But if they arrive late for the ice cream sundae, that is a much more serious matter!
Perhaps we need a new THD rule: "Please be on time, unless ice cream is involved."
I suspect that rule might finally get everyone's attention.
7. Apparently, Technology Has Followed Us Into Senior Living
And finally, we have entered the twenty-first century.
Recently, I heard about a male resident receiving video calls involving sexual conversation from someone outside the United States. The funny part it is a Male gender, not the Female variety.
I will leave the details there. But it reminded me of something important:
Technology does not care about our age.
Scammers, fraudsters and people with questionable intentions know that seniors use smartphones, computers, Facebook, Zoom, email and video calls.
And some of them are very good at pretending to be someone they are not.
My advice is simple: Be curious. Be friendly. But also be skeptical.
If someone you have never met suddenly becomes extremely interested in you, especially online, you might want to ask yourself:
"Why me?" And perhaps before sending money, personal information, or anything else, ask a trusted friend or family member for another opinion.
At our age, we have accumulated something younger people don't have:experience.
Let's use it.
THD: A Small Laboratory of Life
When I think about everything I have witnessed during my years at THD, I realize that our community is really a small laboratory of human life.
There is love. There is loneliness. There is friendship. There are disagreements.
There are rules. There are exceptions to rules. There are illnesses. There are celebrations. There are departures.
And, occasionally, there is an ice cream controversy!
More than 160 seniors live here, each with a different history.
Some were teachers. Some were engineers. Some were business people.
Some were government employees. Some were parents and grandparents.
Some have traveled around the world. Some have fascinating stories that nobody knows.
And all of us are still writing the final chapters of our lives. That is what makes senior living so interesting.
My Final Thought
I have learned that growing older does not mean life becomes boring.
Quite the opposite. Sometimes, the older we become, the more interesting the stories become.
We still fall in love. We still make mistakes. We still make friends.
We still argue about rules. We still enjoy ice cream. We still learn new technology.
And we still have plenty to talk about. My little satire is not meant to make fun of aging.
It is my way of celebrating the wonderfully unpredictable human beings who make up our community.
After all, we may be seniors...but we are not finished being human.
And as long as there is friendship, curiosity, laughter, and perhaps an occasional scoop of ice cream, there is still plenty of life left in our years.
Aging is not simply about adding years to life. It is about continuing to add life to our years.
And at THD, you never really know what tomorrow's episode will bring.
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